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Hello again! It’s over- Desperate Housewives aired its final episode this weekend and I am already kind of missing the show after the great season it’s had. I thought to honor the show I’ll do a proper recap with a few lessons and favorite moments from the past mixed in. Here we go! Let’s start with an interview with Felicity talking about this season back in 2011…

The episode begins with Karen getting ready to leave for a hospice center and I am ready to throw things at Mark Cherry. Karen’s one of my favorite characters and I’m sorry to see her end up like that. I think she’s been one of the most consistently enjoyable characters the show has had. (Lesson the First: If I really like something about a show? Kiss it goodbye. See: Tess on Roswell, The real Spike on Buffy and Bitch!Cordelia.) The ladies see her waiting to board the van and come along to see what’s going on. Karen informs them her doctor thinks Hospice is for the best as Roy would most likely not be able to handle the full burden of caring for her emotionally and physically. The ladies, knowing Karen prefers to stay home, volunteer to help out so Roy will have less stress on him and they can have the time alone at home they want.

In other parts of the Lane, Bree’s trial is huge news (seriously. It’s on a supermarket tabloid even!) and everyone thinks Bree is some kind of monster. Gabby overhears some women in line talking like that and jumps to defend her while obviously feeling extremely guilty over the position she and Carlos ended up putting her in. Carlos, having heard how bad it is as well, tells Gabby when she comes home he wants to confess everything. Gabby doesn’t think he should because Bree’s lawyer keeps saying he can get her off. (Lesson the second: Playing armchair jurist is cool. See: Almost any case with national attention)

In a kind of short throwaway scene (which I found most of hers to be for years until this season), Susan tells Lee (who is selling her home) she doesn’t want to do anything to tip the ladies off on her moving just yet. She thinks it’s not the right time, what with everything Bree is going through.

As I mentioned, Gabby and Carlos are fighting over whether or not he should confess to Alejandro’s murder. What they don’t know is, Bree’s lawyer discovered the Solis connection last week through a private investigator he hired and is pressing Bree to allow him to call Gabby to the stand to talk about just that. Bree refuses before they enter the courtroom and Ben gets thrown into contempt because he refuses to explain that incriminating phone call between them.

The hits just keep coming for the Housewives when Lynette excitedly prepares for a visit from Tom with the help of new personal shopper Gabby. Sadly for her, Tom’s request to meet up was not because he wants to get together again now that Jane is yesterday’s news. He just wants to tell her in person that he’s filing the divorce papers. (Lesson the Third: Lynette obviously has no women’s intuition left)

We go back to the Bree saga when Renee discovers her fiance may miss her wedding. She confronts Bree about it and, getting no answer, decides to push Ben to tell her the truth. He refuses, but Renee ends up putting the pieces together. As she storms out the visiting area, the prosecutor approaches her about testifying. Seems they were listening to every word and if Renee doesn’t testify, Ms. prosecutor will send Ben back to Australia. (Lesson the Fourth: Hell hath no fury like a bride-to-be scorned)

Back on the Lane, Gabby arrives to ride with Susan to the courthouse. Instead she walks in on a house showing that Susan tries to explain away as old High School friends coming by. The fact they look almost old enough to be her parents doesn’t occur to her. (Lesson the Fifth: Susan is a really bad liar.) Once they arrive, Gabby is called to the stand without Bree’s knowledge. Just take a wild guess on what she was asked. Go on- I dare you! Carlos is obviously furious about that and informs Gabby he will be confessing for sure now. Gabby argues with him before volunteering to confess herself. She argues that a victim of abuse will be much more sympathetic than an ex-con but Carlos won’t hear of it. This argument, by the way, is taking place at Karen’s and she overhears the whole thing.

If you saw what was coming, give yourself some extra points and repeat after me: Karen owns us all. She drags herself to the courthouse and talks Bree’s attorney into letting her testify. To everyone’s (including Captain Lawyer) is shocked when Karen confesses to the murder. She tells everyone that Alejandro’s abuse was no secret among the ladies and she took matters into her own hands. A commotion starts and the lawyers retire to the judges chambers to argue over the surprise confession. It ends up being allowed and the prosecutor is pretty much forced to drop the charges against Bree. She also declines to press charges against Karen given her age and how rapidly she’s declining.

A sweet scene with Roy leads to a revelation from Tom regarding his divorce and I suddenly want to throw things again. This pattern with the Scavos is SO old. I mean, really- how many times does Lynette have to pull her controlling manipulating act before he says “I’m out”?

The second hour of the finale begins with a Mary Alice flashback with Martha welcoming her to the Lane and immediately getting suspicious of the new neighbor. Marc CHerry follows up with a big surprise- Kathryn is back in town. Turns out she likes men better after all and has started up a frozen Croissant business that’s bringing in the huge bucks. It’s the whole reason she’s returned- she’s planning to take the company to the US and wants Lynette in charge.

Lynette’s not the only lucky one career-wise. Gabby’s such a hit at the store they want to give her a huge promotion. She’s scared she can’t do it, but Carlos encourages her. Later, they have a bit of a role reversal when Gabby is already having no time for him only a day or two on the job. He even tries to make a point by hiring a female gardener. Gabby tries to shower him with gifts and very familiar lines. (Lesson the Sixth: Carlos won’t fall for that- he invented that.)

Another kind of meaningless Susan moment where she tries to fix Julie up with her OB/GYN. I can’t even. While riding to the wedding later, Julie’s water breaks, ruining Renee’s wedding dress. A classic Desperate Housewives comedic moment has Julie ultimately breaking up the ensuing argument (Susan wants to take her straight to the hospital while Gabby offers to get Renee a new dress at her job) by telling the driver to go to the department store where Susan ends up stealing the limo, leaving Gabby and Renee stranded and trying to make off with a dress. Julie and Susan later have a sweet moment where the topic of Susan getting remarried comes up.

Lynette, having smelled the sweet aroma of corporate power is wanting to take the job… especially after running into an ex-co-worker at the grocery store. She feels challenged and throws the new job in ex’s face and decides she does want it after all. When Tom hear this at Renee’s wedding, he and Lynette fight a little as he realizes she’ll most likely never be satisfied no matter what she does. Bree, meanwhile is making up with Captain Lawyer, who showed up at the ceremony thanks to some Karen meddling. There’s a very nice montage of Renee and Ben celebrating their wedding while Julie gives birth and Karen passes away.

The episode ends with a final poker game and a little montage that shows what happens to the ladies and the Lane. The Scavos end up moving to New York after all shortly after that game while Gabby and Carlos eventually move away after Gabby starts a very successful personal shopping site. She also ends up being a regular on the Home SHopping Network. Bree (shock of shocks) gets into politics after moving to Tennessee with Captain Lawyer. Susan drives away with her children and Grandchild while departed residents look on from the street. Before Susan leaves, she welcomes the new owner of her home assuring her that the Lane is not as boring as the woman fears it will be. It ends with the new owner of Casa Delfino hiding a mysterious box while Mary Alice talks about hiding secrets. (Mark Cherry is evil. Here endeth the Lesson.)

Overall, a perfect ending to a surprisingly strong season. They definitely went out on top! Stay tuned for some favorite moments later as this is WAY too long and I think we all need a moment to catch our breath. 🙂

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