So, I’ve been playing around with this post for quite a while now. Have you ever seen or heard something that was meant for or typically used with kids that made you do a double take? Well, here are five things that struck me…

5) Jem/Jerrica and Rio. As an 80s girl, I was legally obligated to obsess over the awesomeness that was Jem and the Holograms. It wasn’t until I was looking back on the show later that I realized how messed up this love triangle really was. Rio is unable to control himself and stay loyal to his girlfriend when a hot rock star comes on to him. Little does he know, they are actually one in the same.

Jem/Jerrica is not innocent in this one. Once she takes on her rock star secret identity, one of the first things she does is to go after her own boyfriend and try to lure him into Jem’s arms. Once she succeeds with this, she continues to play this game, never being honest about her identity and never being all that upset that he is technically cheating on her.

4) Eric and the Misfits (Jem): Yes, this show needed two slots just to cover only part of what was wrong with this show. Rivals of The Holograms, The Misfits and their manager, Eric, continually steal from the protagonists, kidnap them, attempt to murder them, cause all kinds of public safety issues and try more than once to lure minors into their evil ways. Not once do they suffer any consequences for this, nor do the victims do anything like maybe get a restraining order… just sayin’.

3) Punky Brewster. It sounds like a nice, fun show. A young girl gets adopted by a grumpy old man and turns him into a nicer man while brightening up other people’s lives. Then you look deeper. Said grumpy old man discovers Punky living in one of his empty apartments after she was abandoned at a shopping mall by her single mother. Over the course of the series, Punky gets sent to an orphanage a couple times, the nice old man has a heart attack, one of Punky’s friends nearly dies during a game of hide and seek, and one of her friends ends up going from rich to destitute. Did I mention this was a sitcom?

2) Rock-a-bye baby. Seriously. WHO wrote this song and why did they think it was a good idea to sing about sticking babies in trees and watching them fall? No wonder babies barely sleep…

1) Ring Around the Rosy. I had no clue just how messed-up this song is until I was in the tenth grade and one of my teachers told us about one of the interpretations of it: it’s about the black death. Allow me to break it down as it was explained to us…

“Ring about the rosy” — refers to the red rings that would appear on victims.

“A pocket full of posies” — this refers to the flowers that were placed in the pockets of the dead

“Ashes, ashes, we all fall down” — refers to burning the corpses of the dead and how so many fell to the disease.

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